I know not many people read my blog and the few that do already know that my Grandma Verla has passed away. I was debating blogging about it or not and have been dealing with a lot of feelings lately that I didn't know how to deal with and well, writing about it seemed like the perfect way to deal with it. I have not had someone this close to me pass away before especially at an age when I really knew what was happening and when I really knew the person. When I first heard the news I just couldn't believe it. Everyone kept saying she was getting better and now she is gone.
It has been hard for me being in school and working and not being able to take anytime to reflect and cry. During this last few days I have thought about how the Judaism religion has got it right. Taking days off from everything just to grieve and give your respects to the person that has left this world. Why can we not do that? Why does our society focus so much on ourselves and everything we need to do and get done. Well, I need to cry and I need to be comforted about my Grandma passing but I will only get one day to deal with that and then I will be thrown back in this tornado called life.
These last few days I have had to keep pushing with school, work and ward activities and here I am sitting at my desk when reality hit me. She is really gone. When I go to her house on Sunday she will not be there but my memory of her and her spirit always will be. Whenever I play chinese checkers, put a puzzle together or someday become as good of a cook as she was she will be on my mind.
Ever since I have been in Utah I have been so blessed to spend a lot more time with Grandpa and Grandma Haynie and I went from being their FAVORITE granddaughter (that's right Erin :) to a great friend. I could just go on about everything I loved about Grandma, her fruit salad deliciousness, playing games, croquet in the yard, her hugs, I LOVE her laugh, and whenever I would call she would just love to talk to me, and the visits where she and Aunt Diane brought me treats or cards while I am at school, her sassy personality, and refusal to give in to the material things of this world....Grandma, I love you and thank you for the example you set for me and for the memories you made with me:)
5 comments:
I do wish we had some kind of period of mourning. See you in a couple of days.
From Rachel
I am so sorry Kinsey....what was she sick from?
exactly how i feel. i dont think i cried when my grandpa died (he was the first of someone close to me to die) but with Grandma, I let it all loose. I cried for like a day. I think, for both of them.
I went in to there house today, and it was weird. I was waiting for her to come out and say something sassy. But I find peace in knowing she is in heaven, and not hurting.
I will see you tomorrow missy!
I was in your same situation when Grandma Davis died. In college, and the first person to die that I knew really well. It may have been slightly different because she was so miserable that I was a little relieved for her that she didn't have to suffer anymore. Still, it's not my favorite. Love you!
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